My hand turned me down
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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