Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I didn't notice because vodka
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize