rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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