Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
