you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
