Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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