I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Randomize
