I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Im part way to drunk.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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