It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
