haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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