I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
