Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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