In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
