I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
