all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
