Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
