She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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