everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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