very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Randomize
