she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
