I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
