what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
