this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
