Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
