My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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