She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
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maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
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We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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