she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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