Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Apparently you make a good broom.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
