I wish I only lived at night.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize