i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
How external is "for external use only"?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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