I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
