1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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