After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
