Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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