You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
