Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
