Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize