we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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