My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
