last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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