You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
