yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
