I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Such a big mess for such a small penis
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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