hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
