The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
