the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
