She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
