My hand turned me down
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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