doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
