and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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