Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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