he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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