I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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