After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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