glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
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The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
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I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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