I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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