This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
