Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
